He asked me if I "almost moaned"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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