i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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