...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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