You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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