We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize