he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
