I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize