Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
