Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize