im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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