Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
