Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
now i know why i became what i already was.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
