I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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