too bad you live with your parents still
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
