Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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