Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize