Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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