I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
