the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
