As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
