How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
