I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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