was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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