We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
