remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
