My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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