i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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