you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize