Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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