i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
