I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
