this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
