We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
