just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
