U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
