I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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