super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
