it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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