she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
