first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
