i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We just shotgunned beers for America
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
