ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
