actually, I'm a sock model
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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