So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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