I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
