I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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