Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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