But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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