So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
