So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I want is dick and wine.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
