Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
