He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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