they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
