check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
