you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
