the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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