Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
