I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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