I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
