everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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