Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize