We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
