Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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