I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
