xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
