So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
