I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm just crazy horny about you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
