Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Randomize
