The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
