i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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