Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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