He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
