3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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