if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Randomize
